07 August, 2008

In the middle

For a long time, I've felt that I've always been the one in the middle. I'm always in the thick of the action, now living in the center of the biggest city I've ever known. I'm generally the mediator and messenger between friends and family when there is conflict or misunderstanding. During this transition, I've also felt in between one chapter of my life and the brink of the next.

This week, I realized how "in the middle" I am in my personal life. I've reconnected with people from high school. A majority of them are married, and many of them have children. I also live in a city where twenty and thirty somethings aren't ready to settle down yet. Marriage and kids are the farthest things from their minds as they focus on their career and living life. I quickly realized that I'm stuck in the middle there too. I live in the city and get to breathe it in, but deeply desire a relationship, a mate, a family.

And, I realized I wasn't alone. In a city like this, it's so easy to feel as if you're the only person who feels as you do. No matter how much I feel stuck in between two stages of life, I've learned there is always someone else who is right there in the same place. I sat on a park bench in Farragut Park and it became clear that being in the middle was ok for me right now. I'm content with being in the middle - I just don't want to stay here for long.

1 comment:

Andrea said...

Well, dear, if the big city ever feels like too much for you, Overland Park, KS is a nice place to live. :) Miss lunch dates with you!