22 March, 2010

More than the birds

I'm a worrier.

There it is, I admit it. I'm a worry-wart as my mom and grandma used to call it. Ever since I can remember, I pick at my hands because of pent up anxious energy. I tend to take most comments very personal and can't seem to sometimes calm down. However, the last six months have seemed to steadily increased anxiety and I can't figure out why. It started as a slow trickle - I wanted to be the best and put pressure on myself that didn't need to be there. I didn't recognize it, and then a little more creeps in. That process goes on for a few months until life kinda seemed to take some really weird turns. After a huge tragedy in our family, my heart finally broke. Things just kinda broke down in a way that I realized there was nothing I could do. No control that I had over my life would ever make things right, and I've been known to say "why do some things just not feel right in life right now?"

This past week, God has totally be rearranging things in my heart that continually shake me to the core. He has continually reassured me with Matthew 6:25-34, especially with a sermon from my parent's church, New Hope Church, in Manvel, TX.

1) Value the day that you have: Oooooh, how did I need to hear this. "Have you ruined a potentially good day by worrying about it turning terribly wrong?" Yes yes, I have. I've been in a mode of thinking "When this happens, then I'll be happy." No, Amy...not true. I'm truly happy in this moment. I love and am loved and life is good.

2)Worry is your enemy. It is a tool Satan uses to steal joy away. Too many people use the pain of what happened yesterday and the fear of what will happen tomorrow that they don't enjoy the "now." Oooooh, burn #2. If I am not thankful for what is happening now, I'm not truly enjoying the gift that He's given me.

3)Take responsibility for your "now": I can't change the past and what I've been through in the last few months. It has been an incredibly difficult 5 months, but I can't dwell on it - I just have to live in the present.

4)Worry calls God a liar: OUCH!!! Do not worry about tomorrow.. He has it all under control. He has hemmed all of us in behind and before. And He knows it all. If I don't trust in Him to work in the way that He wants to work, I'm basically calling Him a liar.

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"

1 comment:

Paprika said...

Hey girl, just read this.
Sure LOVE YOU and LOVE hearing what you're thinking about/feeling these days. Sounds like God is at work. :)
So sorry about hard times in your family, too.