What I'm Thankful for

One of the main reasons for this blog is to maintain the community that I know and love and connect with those that I don't see every day. After moving quite a bit over the past 10 years, I always find it more difficult to make sure and spend time relating the day's events to people I care for. The blog is also an outlet for me to speak what is on my heart without other's comments. It's just a pure sense of me - the good, the bad, and the very ugly.

In the tradition of others' "Thanksgiving posts," it seemed appropriate for me to create my own. This is the first Thanksgiving that I haven't been surrounded by family in 27 years and I miss you all terribly. But, distance shouldn't stop us from sharing love. So, other than the many phone calls I'll have today with you all, here is a list of things I'm incredibly grateful for.

1) My family (obvious, huh?) who has been there through thick and thin, good and bad. They've watched me fall, I've watched them fall, and we all seem to help each other stand on our own two feet again. I'm loved so much that they can let go and know that I'll be fine.

2) My friends whom I have laughed and cried with throughout some really fun and difficult circumstances. Nae and Eeka, who taught me the beauty of being a godly woman with all of it's ups, downs and inbetweens. (haha..I'm thankful for Nae who poisoned me with peanut butter the first time I met her, unexplainably creating one of the strongest friendships I'll ever know - remember that?). Amanda, who is one of the biggest encouragers I know. For friends who I'm eternally tied to just by the way God created us - ahem, Mandy. For the most recent friends, S and Em, who have taught me how to break out of my shell and realize the full potential that lies within each of us. And friends that I miss dearly and just want to go run with - Anna... we NEED to plan a time to see each other!

3) For the iPod for dying on me to show humility and that I don't get everything I want. (I HAD to put in something material!)

4) For God's incredible and unexplainable provision over the past year - and a job that amazes me every day.

5) To live in a country founded on freedom, integrity, and principle.

6) That I didn't completely lose all of my music trying to clean out my Macbook (I had a small panic attack about that last night...)

7) The ability to take risks, to find the rewards, and be able to not succeed but learn by trying.

8) REALLY good coffee from M.E. Swings - the main thing that has kept me going over the past few months.

9) The fact that I didn't completely butcher the sweet potato casserole! (Amazing, isn't it?)

10) Facebook - It has kept me connected to people that I, unfortunately, haven't called since I left Baton Rouge. I feel really guilty about it, too.

Happy Thanksgiving! I'm so incredibly thankful for you!

A sad day for this music lover

For anyone who takes the Metro to work, their iPod is their lifeline. Unfortunately, this
now flashes this on the screen


Needless to say... I am distraught.

I fixed it about a year ago when it did this the first time. I found a great web site that told me how to pop open the cover and tinker inside. I was elated when it started working again. In fact, I remember crying. Not that I'm attached to the iPod or anything...

But now, the iPod has a final resting place. I can't bear to look at the screen anymore, with it's sad face and caution symbol. After four years, I think it had a full life. So, I wanted to pose this question out to all of you:

1) Does anyone have great suggestions on how to fix it? Any words of wisdom?

2) If I do decide to get a new iPod, which one should I buy?

Social Experiment

I'm a psychology major at heart. I love watching people find common bonds and see how one person relates to another. During many conversations, I can hear both the words that are said and visualize how the people communicate with each other by arrows and colors. Call me weird, but I've always been this way. I love social experiments - throw a few people in the room together and see if they like each other. My birthday party was somewhat like that. We merged 4 groups of people together at Mr. Smith's, a piano bar in Georgetown. Everyone had a blast and I had an excuse to sing at the top of my lungs.

So, in the realm of social craziness and potentially awkward situations, I did the unthinkable...I signed up on Match.com for a free 3 day trial. I went on Match during my 4 years in BR simply because it was incredibly difficult to find guys that I would date. I'm not exaggerating. I figured I would spice life up a bit and went out on a bunch of dates with Match. All of the guys ended up with nicknames (girls, you know what that means.. they were horrible). I figured that Match didn't work in BR because of the pool to choose from.

I decided to go back on Match for three days just because I heard so many others talk about it here in DC. I don't really want to date someone off of an internet dating site, and I'm not looking to date lots of random men. But, what I found completely shocked me.

In 2 days of a "live online profile":
*My profile was viewed 453 times and "favorited" 4 times
*I've been winked at by 53 men
*The average age... drumroll, please.....is 41. (yes, that is a big 4-1. I'm not kidding. I was appalled and really sad).
*By their emails, It was incredibly apparent that none of them really looked at my entire profile enough to start a decent conversation.
*I received 8 emails that only said "cute dimple"
*I received 1 email that said something derogatory about meeting me.

The free trial ends tomorrow and I don't think I'm going to renew. At least it was interesting while it lasted! I'm just glad to rely on the good ol' fashioned way of meeting guys.. striking up a conversation and seeing what they're all about - in person.

Another year, another thought

This Thursday marks the 27th year that God has blessed me with the ability to walk on this earth. I know that seems a bit weighty, and nevermind that some years were better than others. Every year, I like to reflect and see what all has happened (I think my dad instilled this in me- we also do this, just him and me, at New Years). Some years, I look back in awe of all that has taken place. Other years, I look back in relief, grateful that the specific year passed. A few of those years, I have cried...yes, cried.. because it just felt like I was too $*($& old. (Yeah, I know, I have no room to talk - the old feeling comes mainly from the singleness.. you know what I mean).

This year is a bit different than others. It is a mix of gratefulness and anticipation. If I look back, the rap sheet is long: earned a Master's degree, started a job, moved to a new city completely out of my comfort zone, watched family changes, friend changes, traveled to new cities. I was healed from past hurts, able to mend wounded relationships, and could walk away from a specific situation with my head held high, knowing that I took the best route I could. I was continually reminded that I fail, fall, and am consistently redeemed by grace and mercy. I have been disappointed and hurt, longing for something so much more than what I have in certain situations. I am secure in the woman I've become, yet I don't want to remain the same throughout the next year.

And while all of these thoughts could still classify me as the "walking contradiction" I'm sometimes known to be, I'm so grateful for the people in my life who help me to realize that I need focus and keep reaching for my potential. I'm encouraged by those who never let me quit and don't like to hear me whine; those who make me think for myself to know what is best and challenge me to take risks. To those who believe in me, even when I don't, I love you dearly and I would not be here without you.

Resonating

"Only the truth in truthfulness can save us..."

I've been listening to Sara Groves and this line really struck me. It is so simple, yet incredibly profound.

"Lord, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill?

He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous,
who speaks truth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellow man,
who despises a vile man but honors those who fear the Lord,
who keeps his oath even when it hurts,
who lends his money without usury and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.

He who does these things will never be shaken." - Psalm 15

I fall so short...