"Amy" Moments

Change is Gonna Come: AmyLizMartin.com

2010-05-24T10:59:00.006-06:00

It has been too long since I've actually posted anything on this blog. I could go on and on about the past six months, the joy and heartbreak, the "interesting" lessons I've learned and the moments where all one can do is laugh. What I find amazing about God is that He is a redeemer and restorer, and I understand more about that each and every day. Here is a little recap of some lessons learned...

Just Like Plants, We Need Water
It wasn't until I stopped my former position at a non-profit that I realized how thirsty and tired I was. Here's how it went down: Friday (last day or work) - fine as can be; Saturday - still happy and enjoying the weekend; Sunday through Thurs - sick as a dog. My body just said "Hi, Amy. Remember all of those gross germs you asked us to hold off on? Well, they're all going to attack you at once, now. OK?" I was down for the count for about a week.

After two years in the District, I needed water - desparately. It was like that feeling you get when you are so incredibly parched that your throat feels like sandpaper. And it wasn't just physical water - I need restoration in ways that only God could provide. I need a change in perspective and attitude, and a different definition of success than what I'm used to.

The 3 Rs: Recharge, Renew, Restore
In order to do great things, you must dig deep for strength. We are not like robots who can go from task to task without flinching, even though I like to think that I am at times. However, when you finally get to recharge, how do you react? Do you run to it with open arms? Or do you run the other way screaming? (And doesn't the latter option sound odd?)

I discovered that I run away from relaxation. My default mode is to work until I am a shell of a tired human being. Why do we let ourselves work to the brink of exhaustion and and how is it that I even forgot what "relaxation" is in the first place? My first lesson after the non-profit world was to relearn to sit in silence - and allow myself to be quiet. I didn't grasp this one well at all and I'm still trying to figure it out.

Moving Forward
With these two lessons ahead of me (I call them "flashing neon signs"), I decided to move into the great unknown: freelance public relations and media consulting. I've never pined to be an entrepreneur, but I was approached by some amazing clients and I truly felt that God was calling me to take a step of faith. A step to recharge and reprogram life the way He wants it.

What does that mean? It means that I have a new website that combines both the personal and professional Amy Liz Martin. This personal blog is moving to www.amylizmartin.com/blog. Take a look around the website and also send it out to your friends and family who might want to read.

So, I'm stepping out on my own with the support and love of so many of you. And just like the Sam Cooke classic that has been playing in my head: "It's been a long time coming... but I know.. change is gonna come. "

More than the birds

2010-03-22T20:38:00.004-06:00

I'm a worrier.

There it is, I admit it. I'm a worry-wart as my mom and grandma used to call it. Ever since I can remember, I pick at my hands because of pent up anxious energy. I tend to take most comments very personal and can't seem to sometimes calm down. However, the last six months have seemed to steadily increased anxiety and I can't figure out why. It started as a slow trickle - I wanted to be the best and put pressure on myself that didn't need to be there. I didn't recognize it, and then a little more creeps in. That process goes on for a few months until life kinda seemed to take some really weird turns. After a huge tragedy in our family, my heart finally broke. Things just kinda broke down in a way that I realized there was nothing I could do. No control that I had over my life would ever make things right, and I've been known to say "why do some things just not feel right in life right now?"

This past week, God has totally be rearranging things in my heart that continually shake me to the core. He has continually reassured me with Matthew 6:25-34, especially with a sermon from my parent's church, New Hope Church, in Manvel, TX.

1) Value the day that you have: Oooooh, how did I need to hear this. "Have you ruined a potentially good day by worrying about it turning terribly wrong?" Yes yes, I have. I've been in a mode of thinking "When this happens, then I'll be happy." No, Amy...not true. I'm truly happy in this moment. I love and am loved and life is good.

2)Worry is your enemy. It is a tool Satan uses to steal joy away. Too many people use the pain of what happened yesterday and the fear of what will happen tomorrow that they don't enjoy the "now." Oooooh, burn #2. If I am not thankful for what is happening now, I'm not truly enjoying the gift that He's given me.

3)Take responsibility for your "now": I can't change the past and what I've been through in the last few months. It has been an incredibly difficult 5 months, but I can't dwell on it - I just have to live in the present.

4)Worry calls God a liar: OUCH!!! Do not worry about tomorrow.. He has it all under control. He has hemmed all of us in behind and before. And He knows it all. If I don't trust in Him to work in the way that He wants to work, I'm basically calling Him a liar.

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"

Always

2009-11-16T18:11:00.005-07:00

I'm back! I promise, I won't let my blog become silent. I just simply haven't had time.

I have been working non-stop the past few months. These times have been filled with emotion, both highs and lows, with good and difficult things coming from the left and right. It feels like there hasn't been an escape except for small shiny moments with D and friends. With the recent chaotic pace of my life as of late, I felt that I deserved a warmer, sunny autumn Sunday. Finally, I found a retreat.

There is really nothing better in life than falling leaves, a Starbucks ginger spice latte, incredible new music, and hanging out with people you love. So, I put on a pair of my new favorite shoes and went walking. One of my favorite places is Dupont Circle. It seems to be this eclectic mix of new and old, conservative and liberal, left and right, and inbetween. Needless to say, the people-watcher in me is always satisfied when I walk around Dupont.

Plus, the houses and small streets around that area simply take your breath away.

I walked around for a few hours, just watching and listening to Switchfoot's new CD "Hello Hurricane." I specifically put off buying this album so that I would have something to look forward to once our event was over. I was not disappointed.

For those who know me, if I find a song that tugs my heartstrings, I automatically put it on repeat. As I snapped the shot above of the leaf-lined street, "Alive" by Switchfoot came on my iPod. Take a look at the lyrics below.. I have a feeling they'll touch your heart as well.

With all of the stress behind me, good times and bad, I simply sat on a park bench and listened. For the first time in a while, I had no agenda. No to-do list. No urgent meetings or e-mails on my iPhone. No communications pieces to produce or auctions to orchestrate. A lot of hopeless feelings washed away with the lyrics that "I'm always, I'm always, I'm always Yours." It was the first time I could fully breathe... and it felt so good. I think D noticed the difference too.

When was the last time you took a moment to breathe? I would suggest taking one soon...

"Always" by Switchfoot

This is the start
This is your heart
This is the day you were born
This is the sun
These are your lungs
This is the day you were born

And I am always yours

These are the scars
Deep in your heart
This is the place you were born
This is the hole
Where most of your soul
Comes ripping out
From the places you’ve been torn

And it is always yours
But I am always yours

Hallelujah!
I’m caving in
Hallelujah!
I’m in love again
Hallelujah!
I’m a wretched man
Hallelujah!
Every breath is a second chance

And it is always yours
And I am always yours

Mat Kearney!!

2009-09-26T17:30:00.003-06:00

I've been waiting for this concert for a very long time. It didn't matter that I was tired and sick and grouchy... gosh darn it, I was going to go. And, I'm so incredibly glad I did. Do you ever have those moments were you get so lost in the music that you can actually worship, not the one one stage, but the One who created it all? Yeah, I was there all night.

Mat Kearney is an incredible musician and songwriter. He had the best mix of both his old and new favorites, and each one spoke to my heart. This was one of the top 5 concerts I've ever been to, and he tweeted that it was one of his top 10 concerts as well. Rock on Mat! Follow him on twitter: @matkearney

I love it when friends speak Truth

2009-09-26T17:26:00.002-06:00

It has been a weird few weeks and I've been up and down emotionally. I'm not quite sure why, but I'm incredibly grateful for the people in my life who have put up with me. They've dealt with grace and honesty, and I couldn't ask for anything more.

An example of this is my new friend Rach. She's such a sweetheart, and I found this on a gchat one morning as I started my early workday:

hello love, I just want you to know I think you are beautiful and smart and kind and funny and that anyone should consider themselves blessed to have you. God's got you where you are for a season, and hopefully that season will soon change. Never, ever doubt how valued and important you are. Nobody, can take away your worth. You are remarkably capable and your experiences will only make you stronger. And whenever you get pissed and want to scream or cry or cuss or pick all your cuticles beyond repair, that's ok too, cause you know what? God's got this. And you can pick and cry and fuss, and he'll never think you're too much of a handful. Because you are his perfect, lovely Amy and he desires nothing more than to see you grow until you're in a place where you can really flourish.
anyway, just thought you may need to hear that. love you my friend!

I love my friends, don't you?!

Chubby cheeks and ice cream - photos

2009-08-18T10:44:00.007-06:00

Since most of you know that my boyfriend is a photographer, many have asked for pics of the drama that was my wisdom teeth extraction. Well, "drama" is not necessarily the word I should use since the weekend included lots of ice cream, smoothies, and ibuprofen. Oh, friends of the blogosphere, here they are:

The first day that the teeth were removed. Let's just say I don't remember this pic being taken.

A common sight of the weekend: me and my love of salt water (notice the sarcasm). Another common sight: Dave taking pictures.

Check out other photos of his new place on his Web site or his Flickr page. Luckily, these are the only two published photos of the fun of wisdom teeth freedom.

A crazy three months

2009-08-14T12:44:00.019-06:00

Well, folks.. its about time for a long overdue update on the life of Amy. I feel like the summer has been an absolute blur of changes, learning, frustrations, joyful times, headaches, and the good ol' DC heat, humidity, and tourists. I'll see if I can break most of it down for you.

For starters, I started May with preparations for ICFJ's bi-annual board meeting and cultivation dinner in NY. It took up a lot of my time, but the results were worth every moment. At the same time, Dave was moving out of his condo in B-town (and no, I don't mean Boston or Bethesda) in the hopes that his condo in the heart of DC would be finished. Construction delays ensued and voila... he was "homeless" as of May 31.

On top of all of this, we had 7 or 8 visitors in 6 weeks. Of course, my favorite was Nae's visit to the Capitol. It is amazing how heart friends just mesh as if no time has passed when they get together. We had an absolutely wonderful time. Since she wrote about it here and here, I'll spare you the details. She's a better writer anyway.

The visitors and "homelessness" carried through June, but work took centerstage as we had many programs and events. We had an amazing reception at the Newseum to announce the Knight International Journalism Award winners and Founders Award winner Seymour Hersh (The New Yorker) I absolutely loved the view and some of my favorite people were there(L: Sarah Marshall, Gary Fabiano and me).

July began with fireworks, literally. The Fourth of July is always special in the nation's capitol. Where else can you see firework displays like this one?

Let's just say that I'm not divulging where we watched the show, but we will be going back there next year with a full day's picnic, and y'all are welcome to join. I wish we could have these seats, though...the Obamas always get the best stuff! If you look closely, you can see them on the roof of the capitol.

The rest of July and the beginning of August was a blur. I started getting massive headaches each day and never knew the cause of them. Then, my wisdom teeth started to hurt. Mind you, I haven't been to the dentist in over 5 years, so I was n-e-r-v-o-u-s. Super scared. Of course, they told me I had to have them taken out and the first time they could schedule an appointment was early August. It was a painful 3-4 weeks, but well worth it in the end.

Ironically, Dave ordered his new Canon 5D Mark II camera and it arrived a few days before my surgery. For those who don't know, the camera is the newest in Canon's line and actually takes HD video. He bought it for the weddings he will shoot this summer. Of course, who could resist taking pictures and video of a chubby cheeked drugged up girl? Yeah, I'm sure there is footage floating around somewhere, but I haven't seen it yet. And no, you won't either :) However, you can check out his other photography here and here.

In the midst of that, Dave finally moved! They finally finished his condo mid-July and he closed at the 11th hour. He's settled and finally feels like he has a home, which is a huge relief.

So to recap, in 3 months, there have been 8 visitors, 4 wisdom teeth removed, 2 amazing concerts (Jason Mraz and Paolo Nutini), 2 major work events, and one new home for the bf. Oh, and one incredibly happy Amy that has no more headaches!

On a mission

2009-07-20T19:42:00.004-06:00

I started thinking about writing this blog post this morning. I formulated the entire entry to go over the many reasons why I detest the Metro system. Since the accident, fewer trains are running, the trains that are functional are running on manual controls and about 30 mph less than normal. All of this equals incredibly upset Washingtonians and frustrated commuters. For a city that doesn't say "hi" to each other in the morning and ignores everyone else through their iPod earphones, I would say this is a brand new level of grumpiness.

I was going to post this really long rant about how people were being rude and inconsiderate, pushing excessively on the train, and not obeying social norms (i.e. walking on the left of escalators). Each person who steps on and off those trains each day is "on a mission," as my grandmother would say, to be the first through metro turnstiles, the earliest arrival at their workplace, and the best at getting through their to-do list.

And, I'm no exception. I'm a to-do list junkie. But after listening to Will's sermon at Frontline, I realized that my view of "mission" as a 9-5 job is completely screwed up. My goal for each day is not to accomplish all things on the unending checklist. My mission is to live, love, breathe, serve, and be. And, that is so much more freeing than any other mission I've ever known.

Instead of whining and complaining about the people I see each morning and their inconsiderateness, I need to love them despite their mood and attitudes. When I groan about the fact that our train is stopping for 5 min. at each station, I need to be thankful for a way to work and people who are willing to operate it. I just hope I remember those things over the course of this week.

Rekindling fires

2009-07-06T19:25:00.002-06:00

This weekend I realized three things that make my heart soar. First, I love watching God be faithful in how He provides extraordinarily so that others will believe Him for bigger things. Second, I'm a sponge when people come back from mission trips and need to simply verbally process. Third, I constantly crave for God to take me out of my comfort zone, and get jealous when He does that in others but fail to recognize it in my own life at times.

On Independence Day, I spent a few precious hours welcoming a dear friend back to the States after her 2 week trip to Tanzania. To be honest, I'm incredibly jealous of her experience. L touched a part of the world that I desparately want to know and constantly pray for. She was able to hold African babies, walk alongside women who needed to know who Christ is, and allowed God to break her heart and humble her spirit. She also had the opportunity to serve people in Southall, London that I embraced 6 years ago. And then, she pushed her physical limits and summitted Mt. Kilamanjaro. Yes, friends... summit. I am inspired by her.

As she spent a few hours describing her trip, her struggles, her joys and fears, one thing stood out the most: She CRAVED for Christ to move in and through her life and wanted Him to have authority, no matter the situation. She shared her story and I was just caught up in the fact that this craving lives in me too. Sometimes the stirring is small, sometimes the rumble is overpowering. At all times, the hunger is there.

I left her house praising God not only for the ways He brought her closer to Himself in Africa, but also for the fact that there are a group of women in my life who exemplify that hunger and thirst for God's word that I strive for as well. There are 10 women(and you know who you are) who give God authority in their lives, the direction of their paths, and their sole goal is to know Him and make Him known among others.

That kind of vision is unstoppable and passionate, and I pray that for that fire in and through my life. Iron sharpens iron, and I long to be around those who want to know Him more and sharpen me through that experience. I love when others around me point others to God by exemplifying His love, and I'm constantly encouraged by those whose desire to know God is unparalleled. I want to engage in that more and more each day. I want to put God first and do His work, His way, no matter what (as the great Hudson Taylor would say).

Super Secret Sangria Recipe

2009-06-05T06:17:00.003-06:00

A few weeks ago, the Chesapeake Girls had a BBQ. Apparently, we were incredibly popular as people filed in and out from 1 - 11pm. My contributions were the veggies, burger fixins and sangria.

Now I don't brag about much when it comes to food preparation. I do like to cook, but I can't claim to be a top chef. I just follow the recipe. With this one, I'm bragging. Its GOOD!

So, here it is by popular demand..... sangria:

Ingredients:
-3 bottles of white wine (I generally used red, and you can really combine the two depending on what you feel like. For white, I go with a couple chardonnays and a sauvignon blanc. For white, I go for pinot noir and a merlot or malbec).
-1 two-liter of ginger ale
-1/2- 3/4 cup of sugar
-Whatever fruit you want to put in it (I usually put strawberries, lemon, lime, and oranges)

Directions:
-Cut up the fruit into wedges or smaller pieces
-Pour in the bottles of wine and sugar - it isn't going to be sweet when you taste it then, but it will be the next day.
-Let it sit overnight, preferrably for 24 hrs
-About an hour before serving, pour in as much ginger ale as you want. Mix it really well

See.. it isn't rocket science, is it? So, make a cold drink and enjoy the summer! If you're ever in the area, I'm sure we'll have it on hand for another bbq with these fun girls

Stories from Hearst Tower

2009-05-19T12:17:00.006-06:00

Let me first say that I am incredibly lucky. I have a job that gives me a wide range of experience and allows me to develop specific skills relative to my career in public relations. It also gives me the opportunity to meet some of the most unique people in some extraordinary circumstances. For example, let's flash back to a week ago last Monday.

We have been planning our May 11 Board meeting and dinner for a few months. The two weeks leading to the event were especially hectic, arranging materials, planning Web sites, doing seating arrangements, and figuring out how-in-the-heck we were going to do a live auction. I walked into the Hearst Tower and was automatically blown away. How many people can say that in their first year at a job, they helped plan a cultivation event in the Hearst Tower in NY?

The Future of the News panel was amazing and the experts were incredibly insightful. I felt as if I was in the room of greatness. However, two people stood out in my mind, and they didn't even attend the dinner.

I was responsible for greeting guests at the main entrance and giving them directions to their table. The hustle and bustle of the day made me crave a chance to sit down and be still, and I welcomed the opportunity to be silent and wait for guests to arrive. This was not exactly how the hour went down.

My table was situated next to the front security guard who allowed guests to enter as they checked in. I heard stories from these two men, we'll call them W and E, and their words captivated me. We talked about Judy Garland (my all time favorite ruby red slipper wearer) to Barbara Streisand, to the other famous faces that walked into the Tower.

Conversation flowed to their ambitions as one moved to NY to be a musician and the other's dream was to create amazing movie trivia games. Both had a great place in life. Both were overjoyed at their station. Both knew that they were ultimately happy and believed in the absolute best for themselves, the employees they interacted with each day, and the company they worked for.

Their passion renewed my passion. What struck me is that one said "Amy, you're such an amazing young woman. You'll do anything you want in life. Party planner? Sure. President of the United States? I see it in your future. I believe in you."

Sometimes you just need someone to tell you that at a moment when the soundtrack of your life is playing the most uplifting song that it's sung in a while. I love those moments and the stories of the amazing people who walked past those two men each day.

Twitter theology

2009-05-02T10:33:00.004-06:00

A few nights ago, I was reading my Twitter feed (of all things... shocker), and came across Mark Batterson's tweet. He's the pastor of NCC here in DC and I find his thoughts really intriguing. His tweet:

"not one detail has failed of all the good things God, your God, has promised you." Joshua 23:14

and then...

"Not one word failed from all the good words God spoke." Joshua 21:45

It brought me back to Joshua for the first time in a long time. I really needed a reminder of God's faithfulness this week. I mean, if you think about it, there are times where we all feel like the Israelites. We have blessing and provision, yet we don't see it as a burden at times. We have everything we need and, most times, more than we ever desired... and yet we're not satisfied. We keep striving for this ultimate "grass is greener" syndrome, and fall short by spinning our wheels...

"So the Lord gave Israel all the land he had sworn to give their forefathers, and they took posession over it and settled there. The Lord gave them rest on every side, just as he had sworn to their forefathers. Not one of their enemies withstood them, the Lord handed all their enemies over to them. Not one of all the Lord's good promises to the house of Israel failed;
every one was fulfilled."

Joshua 21:43-45

I like Joshua.. he reminds me of the attitude I want to have.

What is your passion? (pt 3 of 3)

2009-04-05T21:39:00.005-06:00

Finally, right? Finally she updates her blog. Let's just say the last few weeks have been an incredible ride so far. I just haven't had a chance to update.

A few weeks ago I finally got the chance to sit down and journal. I typically go through a journal a year, but I'm slowly working through this one. DC life tripled my normal pace and I've been trying to keep up. So, I sat down one Sat morning at a Sbux and wrote:

"It has been a rough week. Just one of those weeks that has made me question why I'm here, what God is doing, and if there's really a hope and a future in DC. I feel like all the creativity in me is sucked dry. So, I'm taking some breathing space to rediscover my passions - the things that make me tick:

*Lattes - specifically skinny gingerbread lattes WITH whipped cream during Christmas
*Great handwriting
*Clean lines
*Organization
*Worshiping to a God I want to desperately seek with people I don't know
*Relationships that are strong, vibrant and productive
*Smart ways for people to give back to the community, earth, etc.
*African babies who need love
*People with bright and brilliant eye colors
*Embracing the many complexities of me
*High impact, high energy
*Fleur de lis
*Romantic wistful graphic designs
*Pedicures
*Yogi tea
*Music that is thoughtful and frees your soul
*Intricate fashion designs coupled with strong fabrics and colors
*Yoga and yoga pants
*The cleansing power of water
*Wine and it's ability to bring people together
*Strength in weakness
*Being purposeful with your words
*Photography that allows you to enter into the shot and wonder what is happening
*The tension of order vs chaos
*Spontaneity in the midst of routine
*Singer/songwriters who put their all into their music to create more than a catchy hook
*People watching
*Intelligent and genuine conversation
*The hard work ethic and wide open wheat fields of ks
*Classic pop culture icons
*Sensible and rational choices
*Being observant in the every day life to learn lessons that I otherwise may have never seen
*The "alive" factor of God's Word and how it affects people differently
*Songs that transport me back to a certain place and time
*Jackets, scarves, and handbags with lots of pockets and great liners
*Deep earthy tones in tiles and back splashes
*Comfy sheets and fleece jackets
*Reaching new audiences with a message through new forms of communication
*Cooking with wine and trying new recipes I know I'm going to screw up.
*Growth: plants and people."

This seems to be a very random list, but it's a great start to rediscovery.

What is your passion? (pt 2 or 3)

2009-03-15T13:14:00.011-06:00

Finally, a new blog update and a chance to breathe. The last 4 weeks have been hectic with my bro, sis-in-law and cousin coming to DC. Pile that on top of work and other commitments, and you have one incredibly exhausted Amy. I still haven't learned the art of saying "no," but I was too excited to have visitors that tiredness didn't matter.

I was ecstatic to have a chance to be still and took advantage of the opportunity this weekend. It seemed like the perfect time to take a Saturday morning and fill it with a latte, a great book, and my journal. Here is part of the result:

First, I finally finished Crazy Love. Oh my gosh, folks. If you want to read a convicting book about what it truly means to change the world, read this. Francis Chan asks the simple, yet complex, question: What would it look like if we actually did love others as Christ called us to? What if we took God at His Word, let His Word guide our lives, and simply do what it says? What would happen if we were so captivated by God's love for us that we acted upon it in radical ways? It was an eye-opener for me - I would treat people with so much more respect and much less judgment. I would sacrifice more.

It's a lot to think about, even though it seems like it could be so simple. I'm faced with people who are incredibly disillusioned by Christianity all the time. Either it was a friend who was a Christian that hurt them or a pastor or minister who rubbed them the wrong way. Maybe it was a really difficult personal situation, and no one was there to walk with them through the darkness. Whatever the situation, there seems to be this great disconnect between our actions and what we ought to do. I'm as guilty as the next person - I'm human and I've hurt others deeply. If there is a disconnect and people feel there is a miscommunication between what God says and what we do, there's a problem. At the end of the day, it is all about continually seeking God, pursuing a relationship with Him, and loving others as He loves us - and that love will automatically be what the world needs to see to signify what God is truly all about.

The second part of the morning was a bit of rediscovery...and since I've rambled on and on, it will have to come in the next post :)

Let's hear it for my mother

2009-02-23T15:42:00.008-07:00

The Inter-webbiness of our lives is insane. In elementary school, I remember when we got our first Apple MacIntosh computer. Aaaah, the floppy disks... Oregon Trail (I always died of typhus)...memories. Then, we moved onto more important technological things on our new PC, like Carmen SanDiego. Those were the days. Life was more simple then.

Now, we have social networking coming out our ears. I cannot count the number of accounts I have: Flickr, Facebook, Twitter, and my unfinished Linked In account, among others. I still hold onto some sense of privacy - I pride myself that it truly is a treasure hunt to find me on Facebook. As I signed up for all of these, I thought that our generation was the best because we were so advanced in this area. So technologically savvy. I mean, I can't build my own web site, but I have a blog - that counts, right? And surely, my parents will never figure out how to run this thing...much less see what I'm posting on all of these sites, right?

Wrong. I discovered I was incorrect when my mother found my blog and started following me on Twitter. She not only blogs, but also tweets (Who came up with these words, anyways? SERIOUSLY?!?!). I'm amazed that, sometimes, I can read enough about her life on her blog to catch me up for a few weeks. Of course, this doesn't and shouldn't replace the phone calls, but it makes life a bit more interesting (hint hint, mom... call me).

So, check out her blog... tell her I sent ya. Also, while you're at it, check out Remember the Milk. It is a web application and organizational tool, helping those who can't plan ahead to begin prioritizing tasks. You can add it as an app to your iPhone or iPod touch. I'm all for anything that helps disorganized individuals get back on track :)

Love is Waiting

2009-02-14T11:36:00.004-07:00

This is an amazing song that we sung at church last week. Not only is Brooke Fraser a talented singer/songwriter, but she also loves Rwanda. Go to her website (www.brookefraser.com) to see photo albums and listen to her album "Albertine."

I just thought this was an appropriate song for today. Many of my friends have resonated with the lyrics and asked me to share. Lots of love to y'all on Valentine's Day!!!

Love is Waiting
In the autumn on the ground
Between the traffic and the ordinary sounds
I am thinking signs and seasons
While a north wind blows through

I watch as lovers pass me by
Walking stories, who’s and how’s and why’s
Musing lazily on love, pondering you

Let’s give it time, give it space
And be still for a spell
When it’s time to walk that way
We wanna walk it well

It’s my caution not the cold
There’s no other hand that I would rather hold
The climate changes, I’m singing for strangers about you

Don’t keep time, slow the pace
Honey hold on if you can
The bets are getting surer now
That you’re my man

Bridge
I could write a million songs about the way you say my name
I could live a lifetime with you and then do it all again
And like I can’t force the sun to rise
Or hasten summer’s start
Neither should I rush my way into your heart

What is your passion in life?

2009-02-13T07:12:00.004-07:00

Last night, our small group had a mixer with another 2 small groups at Frontline (Again, have I mentioned how much I love these girls?? Absolutely love 'em). During one of the icebreaker activities, we were instructed to read questions to our smaller group of participants and answer them. Some of the questions were "what is your favorite candy?" or "Are you a morning person or night owl?" During one of our q & a sessions, one of the guys said "enough about these stupid questions, let's make up our own." Then, he promptly asks: "What is your passion in life?"

For some reason, the thought took me by surprise. What was my passion? Do I have just one or are there many?

Let's just say that these questions have been circling around my head the past 12 hours. How do I define myself? How do others see me? Am I following my passion in life? All of these questions are enough to make this head spin a bit.

So, I'm planning on taking some time and reflecting on these deeper insights. We'll see what comes out of it, but I'm sure that it will include a new blog design and possibly a new Web site (I've been dying to really dig into Web and graphic design). The next post this weekend will have a few polls, so get your thinking caps on and help me decide on a few designs/ideas/thoughts/musings!

Heartache and Inspiration

2009-02-11T10:06:00.005-07:00

Yesterday was a rough day for the K-State Challenge family. If you know Joel and Jess McClenahan or read any of the Challenge alum blogs, then you know the pain that they are going through. On Sunday, their sweet 10 month-old Cora Paige passed away fighting a battle with neuroblastoma. She was a beautiful girl who was loved and fervently prayed for.

I don't know Joel and Jess as well as I would like to, but I've spent my lunch break reading the blogs of so many of my dear KS friends who attended Cora's funeral yesterday. In each of them, you can hear the heartbreak and can't help but feel it yourself. The tremendous pain is evident in all their stories. But what I also hear is how faithful and loving God is in all of this. I read about how strong Joel and Jess were at the funeral. I saw how God was taking this devastation and creating happiness through Cora's future playground.

The beautiful part is that the God who heals was the same in the beginning as He will be tomorrow. My heart hurts for Joel, Jess, their family and the Challenge community that knew Cora. But, I am inspired how one little girl can make us all cling to God and worship Him more.

If you'd like to learn more about the story, go to Joel and Jess's blog: http://themcclenahans.blogspot.com/
Check out Tim Seley's Lullaby for Cora: www.newmusicmonday.com

You can also read about others' thoughts at All Dolled Up(Date), Breezy Acres Farm, or C's Confetti

To donate to Cora's Playground, go to www.corapaige.com

In the freezing cold for history - Inauguration part 2

2009-02-11T06:49:00.004-07:00

After about 3 hours of sleep, I woke up and dressed in about 5 layers on Jan. 20 (That is, if you count the long johns, 3 shirts, 2 coats, hat and gloves). E and I decided that we were safe to leave at 8am because we had tickets - surely our yellow seats were guaranteed. We packed on the cattle car, um, I mean Metro, around that time and jetted to Union Station only to find that the line for our gate stretched around 10 blocks. Seriously? 10 blocks?!?! Seriously...

We schlepped for about 8 blocks and then realized that there was mass confusion around Louisiana and C St NW. The purple and yellow lines converged into one massive cluster. People were climbing on garbage trucks to find their designated entrance and there were no cops in sight to help. Finally, the event planner in E and I kicked in and we started directing traffic until we saw a break in the line.

Finally, we reached the real yellow gate entrance and saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Our hands were freezing and we weren't talking so that we could conserve energy. All of a sudden we see people running and high-pitched squealing. E shot me this confused look, glanced back at the commotion, and froze. It was Diddy. Yes, the Diddy (although it took us a bit to remember what he calls himself now). I fumbled to try and find the camera, but it was too late. He ducked into the Capitol's side entrance and vanished.

Once we got through the gate, it was smooth sailing. We flew through security and found some great seats. I still can't believe we were so close and were able to enjoy a significant moment in history. People were crying and cheering. I was a bit upset at the "Hey na na na, Goodbye Bush" song and boo-ing that was going on in the background. All in all, it was an amazing and exhausting day. There are many more stories, so please ask if you want to know!

All the other pictures are on my flickr site: www.flickr.com/amylizlovesjava. Go check them out!

All gussied up with out the boots... Inauguration part 1

2009-02-01T11:02:00.032-07:00

Ok, it is about time I recap the inauguration weekend. As scaffolding was built and roads were being blocked weeks ahead of the big day, Washingtonians became uneasy. City officials projected a record turn out, giving statistics such as one bathroom for 6,000 people. My friends and I discussed how we didn't want to be here and I started making plans to fly as far away from the District as possible. The plans fell through and I realized that I had two options: make the most of the weekend or hibernate.

I'm the "make the most of it" kinda girl, so I started trying to figure out plans. They all fell into place, starting with the Texas State Society's Black Tie and Boots inaugural ball. The day started with my three hour long attempt to pick up my tickets. All of the Congressional offices opened their doors on MLK day to hand out tickets. I figured it would be a good time to see my friend Josh Lewis and hang out for a while. So, I waited in line for an hour and then hung out with him for a few.

Seeing that this was as good a time as any, I decided to take pics in front of the Capitol before the craziness.

I rushed home and attempted to put myself together for the ball. This was always the one that the Bushs loved, but no one from the family showed up. Our entire bible study volunteered at the media table, so we all got in free and were able to enjoy the show. The best part were the dresses and people watching. Cowboy boots and formal dresses... I'm not kidding. We had a fabulous time dancing and holding a running fashion commentary ("did you see that dress with those cowboy boots? Oh my...")

Neal McCoy sang the national anthem, and Jack Ingram rocked out all night. Denzel Washington even showed up!

It was an amazing experience for my first Inaugural ball. More to come about Inauguration day...

A brief commercial break

2009-01-31T07:12:00.004-07:00

I promise that I'll blog about Inauguration. Many people have asked about it and why I haven't done it yet, and my only excuse is that I've been incredibly busy. So busy that it feels like we've planned for 2009 and it has already past. Have you ever had that feeling? You plan so much for the upcoming year that January is suddenly over and you feel panic to get it all done. Yes, that is the feeling.

However, I'd like to take a break before I create the Inauguration-blogs (with pics, dear web friends), to talk about last weekend. On Friday, Anna facebooked me to let me know that her and her amazing guitar playin hubby would be in Hampton, VA. I quickly flew to Google Maps to realize that it was only 3 hours away. I am the queen of the roadtrip... I love them SO much and haven't had one in forever.

Those who don't know Anna probably need to understand her awesomeness. I knew Anna and Justin at K-State through Christian Challenge. We all knew what was going on in each others' lives, but were never super close. When I moved to Nashville for summer 2007, I was able to hang out a lot with her. I love her.. I think she is incredible.

That said, I happily raced out of the District to see my friends. Justin is playing for an up-and-coming Country sensation Whitney Duncan. She is so sweet and has an amazing voice. As a singer/songwriter, she rocks out and really cares about her band, how everyone is doing, how it sounds, and all the aspects of being in the business. She has an EP out on iTunes now, and her full album releases in April. Check it out, people... I HIGHLY recommend it.

So, Anna and I saw the show, caught up a bit, hung out with the band, and went out to eat with everyone. It was so much fun to see all of them, but especially to catch up with Anna. Apparently, I missed the fun on the bus afterward, but I was sooooo tired and had to drive home. The only bummer of the whole thing was that I forgot my camera. Anna and I have nothing but our blogs to document the visit.

Thanks Anna and Justin!! I had a blast. Everyone, check out Whitney on iTunes or WhitneyDuncan.com!!!!

Coming soon

2009-01-22T08:05:00.002-07:00

Hey all! I promise that I'll post soon about the Inauguration weekend. It has been insane and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it all. Luckily, we have a 3 day work week and can take the weekend to recover. So, more info/pics/amazing inauguration coverage coming soon!

Inauguration Craziness

2009-01-16T09:40:00.002-07:00

When I moved to DC in May, I knew that Jan 20,2008 would be a momentous occasion. Little did I know that it would be the social event of the year. I'm incredibly fortunate to spend the weekend here in the nation's capitol (even though, at times, I'd rather be on a plane to visit people far away from the insanity).

Let's just say that celebrities are out in full force. A coworker of mine talked with Sarah Jessica Parker at the "Betrayed" play premiere at the Kennedy Center. George Clooney has been spotted in Georgetown. And, to top it all off, there is a MASSIVE free concert on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, featuring Beyonce, Will.I.Am, and many others (U2 is even rumored to play as well).

So, in my attempt to document history, I'll be updating as much as I possibly can. You can also follow me on Twitter (www.twitter.com/amylizmartin) to see where I am. Here's my schedule thus far:

Tonight: Friend's party in Eastern Market/ Capitol Hill area
Saturday: "day off" from Inauguration activities, but I'll probably do a photo shoot day around the Mall.
Sunday: Lincoln Memorial Concert
Monday: Texas State Society's Inaugural Ball (Denzel Washington and Marcia Cross from Desparate Housewives may be there. I'm not sure of their connection to TX, but who knows!)
Tuesday: Seats for the Swearing In and Parade.

Happy Inauguration weekend, everyone!

I fought the DC DMV....and I won!

2009-01-12T12:37:00.002-07:00

For those of you who are unaware, the District's government bureaucracy is a bit intense. You would assume that the nation's capitol would function a bit more efficiently, but there is an unending stream of paperwork to do anything in this town. I encountered it when I first moved here and had to hassle with getting a parking permit for my moving pod. It has gone downhill from there.

Since that time, I've received at least 3 parking tickets and have had to pay a lot of money to fix them. The fourth happened on the day of our Awards Dinner as I was picking up photos for the exhibit that evening. It was d-day and I found my car on a towing truck because I parked it in an area I shouldn't have. I was so incredibly lucky to get it off the tow truck, only to be handed a $100 ticket. This was when I discovered a loophole:

If DC DMV doesn't post your ticked on their Web site within 20 days of issuing the citation, it is void.

Yes, you heard me correctly : v-o-i-d. And, 20 days after the fact, I checked the Web site to find the ticket was not posted. Ultimate vindication came today as I hestiantly checked the Web site one more time to see the message "This ticket is null and void."

How I love that phrase :)

New Years Resolutions

2009-01-05T20:51:00.002-07:00

I'd love to say that I make - and keep - all New Years resolutions. I've had the resolution to stop picking at my fingers for at least 6 years now. it never worked. One year, I decided that I would give up coffee... everyone begged me to grab Starbucks on my way to work. The only resolution that has ever worked was to go at least one new place each year. I've done that the past 2 years in a row.

I'm not a superstitious person. Being born on a Friday the 13th kind of makes you that way. You forget paranoia and somewhat throw caution to the wind. When it comes to making promises on Jan 1, I tend to forego the tradition. I believe that if I really need to make a change in my life, I need to do it on a day that doesn't already almost qualify it for failure (I read a statistic that says 78% of those who make resolutions break the promise in the first month).

What I realized today was not the need for a fleeting resolution, but the desire for a lasting change. There are two areas in my life that really need some work, some TLC. The first is to let things roll off my back and not take things personal. Nothing really triggered this realization, but it has been a common theme woven through my life. I'd like to fix that.

The second is that I'd like to release my inner creativity more than I do. Over the past few months, I've been caught up in the 9-5 life that I've had little time to write, work on photography, and explore. I also want to stop taking crappy pictures and start learning the trade, along with the photoshop that follows. I have the tools, I just need the know how. So, I'm going to start taking a picture every day of the things I see in my life, and hopefully those pics will tell a story of a woman who wants to express a bit more. Who knows, maybe it will lead to the IKEA desk I've had my eye on for years :)

Tagged... by about 3 people

2008-12-18T07:26:00.005-07:00

I'm a big fan of the game of "tag." Actually, I take that back. I liked the physical game of tag when I was a kid, but now that game somehow morphed into a game of "phone tag." I hate phone tag (is that strong enough for you? Hate.. don't use that word much). However, this is a game of tag I can get behind.

Nae and Mandy, being the sweet friends they are, tagged me. Anna, bless her heart, did the same survey but didn't tag anyone (you rock). So, to complete Nae's request:
1. Choose the 4th picture folder on my computer
2. Choose the 4th picture
3. Explain the photo
4. Tag 4 others

Here it is! It was actually from last weekend in NY. I've always wanted to go to NY to see the Christmas lights, and made a vow that I would once I moved to DC. We made an impromptu trip, stayed at an apartment we found on Craigslist, and did the Christmas thing all weekend. As you can tell by the red nose and rough face, I was sick the entire time. But, we had a blast!

Now, for Mandy's tag. 6 Random facts about Amy (the Christmas version):

1) When I used to decorate the Christmas tree at home, I had 3 "ugly" ornaments that I always put in the back of the tree. No lie- they were gross and scary.

2) There is one light display that I must see whenever I go to Wichita for Christmas. I saw it last year, and it was just as breathtaking as when I grew up. It's a house in the Riverside area that puts baby Jesus on the roof. So many childhood memories.

3)I cannot make molasses cookies.. I determined this last night.

4)Favorite Christmas song: O Holy Night

5)As much as I love the season change, I miss wearing flip flops around Christmas time. The South spoiled me.

6) To me, the beginning of the Christmas season is marked by the red cups at Starbucks. Once I can buy a gingerbread latte in a red cup, I can start Christmas shopping.

There you go! So, now I'm tagging Em, SB, Eeka, and Meaghan. Have fun!

Best of the Box

2008-12-11T15:39:00.004-07:00

Let me tell you: working the regular 9-5 comes with some interesting perks. Salary. Vacation. Benefits. Boxed lunches. Wait.. you weren't thinking about lunch choices as a benefit of working a full-time job?

My coworker Dawn and I discovered that we have this affinity for bringing the ready-made lunch each day to work. We are also slightly obsessed with eating out, but we realized the economic need to cut down on that activity. It all started with Trader Joe's macaroni in a bag, and then grew to include Lean Cuisines. Now, we're branching out and we'll tell you all about it.

Best of the Box is our Zagat-like guide of what is wonderful or inedible in the easy to make lunch category. We will critique everything from flash frozen meals to lunch in a can.

So check out our blog and tell us what you think! You never know what you might find for lunch.

What I'm Thankful for

2008-11-27T10:08:00.008-07:00

One of the main reasons for this blog is to maintain the community that I know and love and connect with those that I don't see every day. After moving quite a bit over the past 10 years, I always find it more difficult to make sure and spend time relating the day's events to people I care for. The blog is also an outlet for me to speak what is on my heart without other's comments. It's just a pure sense of me - the good, the bad, and the very ugly.

In the tradition of others' "Thanksgiving posts," it seemed appropriate for me to create my own. This is the first Thanksgiving that I haven't been surrounded by family in 27 years and I miss you all terribly. But, distance shouldn't stop us from sharing love. So, other than the many phone calls I'll have today with you all, here is a list of things I'm incredibly grateful for.

1) My family (obvious, huh?) who has been there through thick and thin, good and bad. They've watched me fall, I've watched them fall, and we all seem to help each other stand on our own two feet again. I'm loved so much that they can let go and know that I'll be fine.

2) My friends whom I have laughed and cried with throughout some really fun and difficult circumstances. Nae and Eeka, who taught me the beauty of being a godly woman with all of it's ups, downs and inbetweens. (haha..I'm thankful for Nae who poisoned me with peanut butter the first time I met her, unexplainably creating one of the strongest friendships I'll ever know - remember that?). Amanda, who is one of the biggest encouragers I know. For friends who I'm eternally tied to just by the way God created us - ahem, Mandy. For the most recent friends, S and Em, who have taught me how to break out of my shell and realize the full potential that lies within each of us. And friends that I miss dearly and just want to go run with - Anna... we NEED to plan a time to see each other!

3) For the iPod for dying on me to show humility and that I don't get everything I want. (I HAD to put in something material!)

4) For God's incredible and unexplainable provision over the past year - and a job that amazes me every day.

5) To live in a country founded on freedom, integrity, and principle.

6) That I didn't completely lose all of my music trying to clean out my Macbook (I had a small panic attack about that last night...)

7) The ability to take risks, to find the rewards, and be able to not succeed but learn by trying.

8) REALLY good coffee from M.E. Swings - the main thing that has kept me going over the past few months.

9) The fact that I didn't completely butcher the sweet potato casserole! (Amazing, isn't it?)

10) Facebook - It has kept me connected to people that I, unfortunately, haven't called since I left Baton Rouge. I feel really guilty about it, too.

Happy Thanksgiving! I'm so incredibly thankful for you!

A sad day for this music lover

2008-11-23T07:54:00.004-07:00

For anyone who takes the Metro to work, their iPod is their lifeline. Unfortunately, this
now flashes this on the screen

Needless to say... I am distraught.

I fixed it about a year ago when it did this the first time. I found a great web site that told me how to pop open the cover and tinker inside. I was elated when it started working again. In fact, I remember crying. Not that I'm attached to the iPod or anything...

But now, the iPod has a final resting place. I can't bear to look at the screen anymore, with it's sad face and caution symbol. After four years, I think it had a full life. So, I wanted to pose this question out to all of you:

1) Does anyone have great suggestions on how to fix it? Any words of wisdom?

2) If I do decide to get a new iPod, which one should I buy?

Social Experiment

2008-11-19T20:30:00.011-07:00

I'm a psychology major at heart. I love watching people find common bonds and see how one person relates to another. During many conversations, I can hear both the words that are said and visualize how the people communicate with each other by arrows and colors. Call me weird, but I've always been this way. I love social experiments - throw a few people in the room together and see if they like each other. My birthday party was somewhat like that. We merged 4 groups of people together at Mr. Smith's, a piano bar in Georgetown. Everyone had a blast and I had an excuse to sing at the top of my lungs.

So, in the realm of social craziness and potentially awkward situations, I did the unthinkable...I signed up on Match.com for a free 3 day trial. I went on Match during my 4 years in BR simply because it was incredibly difficult to find guys that I would date. I'm not exaggerating. I figured I would spice life up a bit and went out on a bunch of dates with Match. All of the guys ended up with nicknames (girls, you know what that means.. they were horrible). I figured that Match didn't work in BR because of the pool to choose from.

I decided to go back on Match for three days just because I heard so many others talk about it here in DC. I don't really want to date someone off of an internet dating site, and I'm not looking to date lots of random men. But, what I found completely shocked me.

In 2 days of a "live online profile":
*My profile was viewed 453 times and "favorited" 4 times
*I've been winked at by 53 men
*The average age... drumroll, please.....is 41. (yes, that is a big 4-1. I'm not kidding. I was appalled and really sad).
*By their emails, It was incredibly apparent that none of them really looked at my entire profile enough to start a decent conversation.
*I received 8 emails that only said "cute dimple"
*I received 1 email that said something derogatory about meeting me.

The free trial ends tomorrow and I don't think I'm going to renew. At least it was interesting while it lasted! I'm just glad to rely on the good ol' fashioned way of meeting guys.. striking up a conversation and seeing what they're all about - in person.

Another year, another thought

2008-11-10T19:49:00.004-07:00

This Thursday marks the 27th year that God has blessed me with the ability to walk on this earth. I know that seems a bit weighty, and nevermind that some years were better than others. Every year, I like to reflect and see what all has happened (I think my dad instilled this in me- we also do this, just him and me, at New Years). Some years, I look back in awe of all that has taken place. Other years, I look back in relief, grateful that the specific year passed. A few of those years, I have cried...yes, cried.. because it just felt like I was too $*($& old. (Yeah, I know, I have no room to talk - the old feeling comes mainly from the singleness.. you know what I mean).

This year is a bit different than others. It is a mix of gratefulness and anticipation. If I look back, the rap sheet is long: earned a Master's degree, started a job, moved to a new city completely out of my comfort zone, watched family changes, friend changes, traveled to new cities. I was healed from past hurts, able to mend wounded relationships, and could walk away from a specific situation with my head held high, knowing that I took the best route I could. I was continually reminded that I fail, fall, and am consistently redeemed by grace and mercy. I have been disappointed and hurt, longing for something so much more than what I have in certain situations. I am secure in the woman I've become, yet I don't want to remain the same throughout the next year.

And while all of these thoughts could still classify me as the "walking contradiction" I'm sometimes known to be, I'm so grateful for the people in my life who help me to realize that I need focus and keep reaching for my potential. I'm encouraged by those who never let me quit and don't like to hear me whine; those who make me think for myself to know what is best and challenge me to take risks. To those who believe in me, even when I don't, I love you dearly and I would not be here without you.

Resonating

2008-11-02T07:08:00.002-07:00

"Only the truth in truthfulness can save us..."

I've been listening to Sara Groves and this line really struck me. It is so simple, yet incredibly profound.

"Lord, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill?

He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous,
who speaks truth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellow man,
who despises a vile man but honors those who fear the Lord,
who keeps his oath even when it hurts,
who lends his money without usury and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.

He who does these things will never be shaken." - Psalm 15

I fall so short...

Mama needs a brand new pair of shoes

2008-10-11T06:56:00.010-06:00

One thing I love about living where I do now is that i can see the seasons change. The past two weeks have been wonderful as the weather became a bit cooler, allowing the first leaves to fall and rustle around outside my front door. We have had absolutely beautiful weather, but the temperature change in the mornings made me come to a stark realization:

I need winter clothes!

I haven't needed a heavier coat or more sweaters for four years. I've lived in the South so long that I forgot what cooler weather felt like and replaced most of my wardrobe. There is a list of "needs" and not "wants," which is unusual for me. Plus, I am a thrifty shopper - bordering on incredibly stingy at times. I never buy things unless they are on sale, and I usually don't buy all of what I need. Given our current economical crisis, I should applaud this trait. However, walking out my door and being incredibly cold because I never bought that coat- that's a problem.

Which brings me to why I love Mr Christopher Columbus. Not only did the man accidentally set roots on this great continent, but his "discovery" translates to a day off work and deep discounts on retail products! Oh Columbus... how I love thee!

Today, E and I went to the outlet mall and bought a few necessities:

A bright orange rain "trench" coat... notice the fact that it wouldn't cover my left arm...

..and wine glasses, just because they have a wonderful name.

No really, I bought neither of these items, but we did purchase a lot of good work winter clothes that I desperately needed. And, we stimulated the economy. We rock.

The Bucket List

2008-10-07T20:32:00.002-06:00

Everyone has a bucket list, whether you want to admit to it or not. It can be scribbled on a napkin or permanently etched in your mind, but the bucket list is a compilation of all you want to do before you kick the bucket. I’m not expecting to die anytime soon, but it seems that I’ve been doing more things on my bucket list lately. Last weekend, I made it ¾ of the way up a very tall rock climbing wall. I was fine until I looked down, seeing everyone below me as if they were ants, and I decided to get down as fast as I could. The problem, however, was that the rope always feels a bit slack before you drop and it catches to lower you down safely. I freaked out… oh yes, I did.

But, that was nothing compared to last week’s bucket list adventure:

Driving in NYC gridlock.

Now, mind you that I’ve only visited NY once before, and that trip was literally for 22.5 hours. It was all overwhelming and completely over my head, literally. I had enough time to navigate the subway system and remember how to count from 1 to 52. For the photo exhibit that I helped put together with a team at the International Center for Journalists, I had to do the unthinkable: deliver 28 framed photos (valued at more than $20,000) to 52nd Street between 5th and 6th Aves in the middle of the day. I had a nightmare on Sunday night, just thinking how crazy it was going to be.

At the risk of sounding snotty, I must say that it wasn’t as horribly difficult as I imagined it would be. It is terrifying that cabs surround you at every turn and that you constantly feel like you’re going to run over a pedestrian at any moment. But, it took me about 20 mins to get there in high traffic after exiting the Lincoln tunnel. The real trick was trying to get around Grand Central Station and find a parking garage.

Knowing me, I had to document the occasion with pictures. I will post them soon. Hopefully driving in NYC will not become a frequent occurrence, but I'm glad I gave it a shot! Next time, I'm taking the train.

"I Saw What I Saw"

2008-09-17T20:54:00.004-06:00

I've been drawn to Sara Groves' newest album "Tell Me What You Know" lately. Her heart and desire are visible in her genuine lyrics, and her words resonate in all of my heart. I love the fact that you can see exactly where she is in her life, as if she were your closest friend. She draws you close with her melody. Plus, this song keeps Africa on my heart...

"I Saw What I Saw"

Your pain has changed me
Your dream inspires
Your face a memory
Your hope a fire
Your courage asks me
What I am afraid of,
And what I know of love?

Cupcakes Galore

2008-09-07T08:45:00.005-06:00

On Labor Day, S, E, and I decided that we would take a day and explore. We started with a picnic at the Iwo Jima memorial that none of us had visited before. We then stumbled upon a concert at the Netherlands Bell Tower and were able to watch the carondelier play for a while. We then checked the Old Stone House off our to-do list. It's the oldest building in DC and is still standing in Georgetown. Pretty cool, if you ask me.

But, I think that the best part of the day was something that Washingtonians are fascinated by:

CUPCAKES!!!

And we're not talking your typical cupcake. We're talking about the richest red velvet cupcake with cream cheese frosting that you've ever tasted! There are so many cupcakeries around this city that you could spend a day visiting them all. If I did that, I swear I'd gain at least 10 pounds in a week. They are sooooooo good, but the three of us felt soooooooo sick after we indulged.

So, if you're looking for a good cupcake, here are a few places I have tried. You can go with your standard Georgetown Cupcake. I hear they have "bliss baked daily" there, and I would have to agree. On Labor Day, we went to the diamond-in-the-rough Baked and Wired in Georgetown. If you're in the Dupont Circle area, I highly recommend Hello Cupcake. They are brand new, Penny, the owner, is incredibly sweet, and how can you beat a line out the door and around the corner on opening day? Thanks to Daily Candy for pointing out these treasures!

Africa on my mind

2008-09-03T19:46:00.005-06:00

I got on the Metro today, just like any other day, and grabbed my spot near the door. iPod in my ears, Blackberry in my hand, large purse on my shoulder and the day running around my head. I was spent and tired, fulfilled, yet exhausted. When I ride on the Metro, I usually close my eyes and hold on. I don't know why, but I do. When I opened my eyes, I was reminded by one simple truth...

...I still have Africa on my mind.

It all started in January 2007, for some unknown reason. All I came to see was Africa. Africa on tv. African countries in the (Product) RED campaign that I studied for my Master's thesis. Heck, when Compassion International sent me children to sponsor, they were always from Africa. Everyone seemed to be going to Africa for one reason or another. My friend Mandy has been a few times, my other friend Mandy was leading a team that summer.

And the senitment didn't fade, either. When I couldn't figure out what to do for an internship last summer, I was ready to pack my bags and move to Africa for a short term trip. Where? I didn't know. Why? Because I loved them and wanted to know the people. How? Only God knew... I had no clue.

Of course, that didn't happen. I planned on going to Rwanda and Uganda this summer with friends from church, and that trip fell through as well because of my move to DC. I was really disappointed because it was like I was always saying yes, and God was always saying no. I really had to struggle with that because I've never been so willing and had the doors close.

Well, Africa was buried as I moved to DC...kind of out of sight, out of mind. I hadn't thought about it until the last month. I met some amazing Rwandans in the airport coming back home on Sunday. I work at a center for media professionals around the world and frequently talk about Africa and health alerts. I have friends who work in other non-profits focusing specifically on Africa. But the final kicker today was to watch this mother and her young son on the Metro. They were from Uganda. His head rested upon her shoulder as he slept. My heart melted.

Who knows what this means, but I hope it has something to do with a new passport stamp and an amazing experience.

Be Still

2008-08-20T20:45:00.003-06:00

I love nights like this...

We had a great weekend hanging out with friends and relaxing. There is nothing better than a day of pampering, a hair cut, beautiful weather, having a blast with friends at the boathouse, and watching Michael Phelps make history.

I just needed a weekend to be still. I think that there's a lesson in that somewhere. I've been running around like crazy since I moved here and I haven't really stopped. I don't know if its because I'm really excited to live in a place with lots to do, or I'm avoiding something. Either way, I just don't know how to sit still.

This weekend was a good reminder just to .. be. No agenda, no to-do list, just be. I need to continually learn that lesson.

In the middle

2008-08-07T20:31:00.003-06:00

For a long time, I've felt that I've always been the one in the middle. I'm always in the thick of the action, now living in the center of the biggest city I've ever known. I'm generally the mediator and messenger between friends and family when there is conflict or misunderstanding. During this transition, I've also felt in between one chapter of my life and the brink of the next.

This week, I realized how "in the middle" I am in my personal life. I've reconnected with people from high school. A majority of them are married, and many of them have children. I also live in a city where twenty and thirty somethings aren't ready to settle down yet. Marriage and kids are the farthest things from their minds as they focus on their career and living life. I quickly realized that I'm stuck in the middle there too. I live in the city and get to breathe it in, but deeply desire a relationship, a mate, a family.

And, I realized I wasn't alone. In a city like this, it's so easy to feel as if you're the only person who feels as you do. No matter how much I feel stuck in between two stages of life, I've learned there is always someone else who is right there in the same place. I sat on a park bench in Farragut Park and it became clear that being in the middle was ok for me right now. I'm content with being in the middle - I just don't want to stay here for long.

Words

2008-07-14T21:13:00.006-06:00

One thing I've learned in the past few weeks is the power of words. As weird as it may seem, it really made me rethink a few things. I've been struck by how a simple word can make my day. I think I really caught the idea when I saw my boss edit something over and over, meticulously thinking about the influence of one word over another. After analyzing the sentence for about 5 minutes, she finally realized the exact word she wanted to use and put it in the passage-conveying exactly what she wanted to say.

Even the simple fact of what words are used and which ones are omitted makes a difference. Why do we choose to say "pick" instead of "grab?" Why do people smile (or smirk) when I say "y'all" instead of "you guys?" How is it that you can be remembered for emphasizing one word more than another? Why is it that when someone chooses to say one word instead of another during a conversation with me, that I overanalyze the conversation to know why they made that decision? How can a simple phrase, like "guard your heart," evoke so much meaning and memories - and yet be so difficult to explain?

I've never had to pick my words more carefully than a painstakingly crafted email this week. There was so much I wanted to say, but couldn't. Too much that I needed to get off my chest, but knowing that if I said it, the words would burn down a 27 year old bridge. So, I didn't say it and decided it was the best option. In another conversation, I decided not to explain something fully and ended up wondering why I made that choice. Omission is a weird thing.

What it all makes me realize is that I need to choose my words carefully. I need to really be creative in how I express who I am, but also cautious of how it might be perceived by others. It is truly amazing how many references there are in Proverbs of how praises should flow from our lips instead of deceitful lies - and that is just Proverbs. Because He knows all that comes from my mouth before I say it, I pray that it is all honoring

"The wonder of all You've made
Foundations Your hands have laid
Bringing me back, to my knees...
I'm lost for the words to say
Lost for another way
Ruined for anything
Other than Your love
I'm desperate to know You more
Desperate for what's in store
Finding my hope in only You, only You
Take me beyond this door
Lead me to something more
Open my heart up for more of You, more of You
I'm lost for the words to say
Left here in disarray
Waiting on true love, waiting on You
I throw reason overboard
Knowing that there's still more
I don't yet believe it.. I can't yet perceive
I can't seem to understand, can't seem to find my way
Its over my head... over my head"
- Starfield, 'Over My Head'

Intersections

2008-06-30T20:49:00.008-06:00

I've had a lot of great experiences over the past few weeks. There was the first time to see pieces of the Berlin Wall. There was also E's first trip to see me in DC.

But the most important first, was the first trip to NYC. Granted, it was a work trip, but I was able to get a lot of sightseeing done. I've never been a tourist alone before, so this was a whole new experience. I mean, who can resist Rockefeller Center?

In the midst of these new exciting moments, there always seems to be a bit of my past that rears its ugly head. I refer to it as the "Pager Theory" when talking about past guy interests, but this theory goes a bit deeper. When life seems to go so incredibly well, the bottom appears to fall out. And, I say "appears" because it really never does- it's just a good opportunity to trust God a bit more than before and move forward.

Right now, I'm in that intersection of trying to process a situation that I've been numb to for a very long time. Over the past 10 years, I feel that I've really been put through the wringer with this relationship. 10 years of hope, heartache, and a very deep hurt that has been forgiven. However, I'm seeing that the hurt remained and emerged in a new form. And because I've forced myself to move on and divorce myself from the situation, I'm finding that I'm completely lost on how to process these new developments. I haven't had to deal with this in the last 5 years. I just ask for your patience and prayers as I try to sort all of this out.

E.T. Phone Home

2008-06-25T21:29:00.003-06:00

For the record: I am not one of "those women" who complain about men all the time. I'm really not. I like it when a man stands up and takes charge or stands down and lets others in the spotlight. I watch a man make mistakes, and I'm not going to stand and whine. Instead, I'll help him figure life out again and fix the mess.
This post does not come out of bitterness toward a man who has wronged me in the past. It is not part of a healing process out of past wounds, and it is not said because I feel like I'm better than everyone else. It is simply a statement that, I wholeheartedly believe, men must know - no matter what age or stage in life....

Just pick up the phone and call!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know it seems simple enough,and it is incredibly difficult to do. However, guys, if you do, you will be rewarded. The girl will like you more because she sees that you're making a more concerted effort to know her. She will see that you think more of her than a simple text message. She will appreciate that you took the time to dial 7 digits. And if she doesn't, then she is not worth your time anyway.

The reason I'm on this soapbox is because I have watched some amazingly talented and beautiful girls so distraught because the only way a guy communicates with them is through texting and GChat. Newsflash...you can't really get to know someone via text message! Sure, you can make plans and yes, it is convenient. But, put in a bit more effort guys. If you call and ask her out on a date, it means that you spend your Saturday night looking at her gorgeous face instead of the robotic screen of your phone. I know lots of girls, myself included, who would love to go out on a date with someone who actually called instead of texted.

Seriously, guys.. this is a topic of conversation for girls. We get excited when you call. We want to talk to you more than you realize. Just take the chance and give the girl a call.

Ok. I'm stepping off my soapbox right now....

Lessons in DC

2008-06-16T20:50:00.004-06:00

The past week has been an eye-opener for me in many ways. Here is a short list of the things I've learned:

1) I'm no longer afraid of using escalators

2) I have a new meaning of "Stand on the right, walk on the left"

3) Living in the nation's capitol and seeing national monuments will not grow old for a while

4) Drivers actually DO stop for pedestrians....well, most of the time

5) Even the most beloved people can die young

6) My feet will have permanent flip-flop scars

7) "Of course it is humid in DC.. it is built on a swamp, you know!?!" (Why did I decide to move from one swamp to another?)

8) I miss the comfort of knowing people and being deeply known.

9) The only place to get sweet tea is at McDonalds. Yes, you heard me correctly - Mickey D's

10) Metro = Cattle-car between the 8:00 - 8:45am and 5-7 pm

More to come later. I'm having a blast and learning a lot.

Transition

2008-05-28T13:32:00.006-06:00

May is always dubbed a transition month for me. Each year, something major changes in May. Last year, it was the decision to move to Nashville for the summer. May 2006 was the decision to start graduate school. Somehow, May is synonymous with change.

This May is no different. I'm officially moving out of Baton Rouge, LA and taking this show on the road to Washington DC. Since January, I had a feeling that I would end up either in Nashville, Washington DC, or Houston. I just felt that God was directing life that way. So, I started searching in those cities, and God started to open and shut doors. Houston shut first because I just couldn't see myself living there. Nashville shut second. I sent out so many resumes there, had some bites, but doors started shutting in front of my face. I really didn't understand it until April.

My friend E and I went to visit one of my most wonderful friends in DC. While we were there, I just fell in love with the city all over again. In love with public transportation...history...free community events....young professional single community....all of it. See what I mean? Its very Mary Tyler Moore, don't ya think?

Once I saw that God gave peace about that situation, He started moving....fast. I interviewed for a job in April and, next thing I knew, I accepted my job and graduated the same day. Over the past few weeks, I had a place to live. Things are moving fast, but I'm so ready to be there and sad to leave at the same time.

So, thats the scoop! I'm sure there will be a few more updates before I leave, but if not, I'll talk to you from the nation's capitol!

You can now call me Master Amy

2008-03-31T19:20:00.003-06:00

Amazing to think that after 2 years of hard work, I'm finished. I defended today and everything went really well. So, a few revisions and I'll be good to go! Whew...that was a long haul!
The funny thing is that I'm called a "Master." That is the most untrue thing I've heard in my life

D-Day minus 7

2008-03-24T13:47:00.002-06:00

Start the drumroll, folks.....

In a week from today, I should be done with my defense and hopefully granted signatures toward my Master's degree. I honestly never thought this day would come, but it is approaching quickly. All that to say, I'm a bit nervous. I'm told it's like a firing squad... they just start barraging you with questions, one after another, waiting for you to slip. I know my committee isn't that die-hard, but you never know.

One week!!!

Not my own strength

2008-03-13T10:39:00.010-06:00

It has been one of those months. You know the ones I'm talking about.....the one where you feel like you're going from 0 to 90 to nothing and the world has been moving even faster than you. In the past month, I have...

written the rest of my thesis (and still making revisions)
traveled to DisneyWorld
Interviewed in Nashville
Job searched
completed another paper for conference
worked for the Dean

...and that doesn't include anything of my personal life. It has been a crazy month. I've realized, yet again, that I'm a giver (Maybe it's more like "devoted" or "stubborn") I don't say that to sound self-righteous, but I give all of myself to anything I do (I don't want to seem that I've got it all figured out, because I know I have a LOT to learn. I'm also incredibly selfish at times, which is a HUGE flaw). All that to say, I have this tendency to put my problems, needs, etc., on the backburner until everyone else in my life is stable and ok. I'm really good at choosing to smile and move on, spending energy to look forward and keep marching.

It's not that I'm at an emotionally unstable point in my life right now. Things are going very well, life is great, I have everything I need. I think it's more that I tend to give to those who need extra attention from me, and I neglect my needs until, all of a sudden, they smack me in the face. Couple that with the fact that I can't sit still and be silent, and it's no wonder that I'm tired.

And I'm not just tired, but I'm empty. I have absolutely nothing to give right now, and I'm desperately needing sustenance. You know that feeling where all you can do is breathe, and hope that the rest of the body functions? Maybe I'm being dramatic, but I'm right there.

Its a great thing that Spring Break is around the corner. For the last few weeks, this verse is repeating itself over and over in my head:

" This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it. " - Isaiah 30:15.

He goes on to talk about the Israelites, basically trying to take control of God's plan and not allowing Him to see it through. His writing reprimands and warns, and it's a good thing for me to take heed.

So, I'm going to be like Elijah (1 Kings 19: 1-18), waiting on God to reveal Himself in anyway He will. The interesting thing is that I remember meditating on this passage while at Summit 2004, our Challenge retreat. I was in the exact same position, waiting on Him and drawing His strength. He proved faithful, and He will again. I just need some extra "uumph" to get through :)

Gotta love surveys

2008-03-11T16:36:00.002-06:00

This is all Mandy and Meaghan's fault... so, lets have some fun with this!

1.Link to the person’s blog who tagged you: Meaghan and Mandy

2. Post these rules on your blog.

3. List seven random and/or weird facts about yourself.
——————————————-
A. I crave Macaroni and Cheese.... blue box please!
——————————————–
B. I have a secret fear of clowns.
——————————————–
C. I'm not sure I'd ever move to a place where I can't wear flip flops all year long. Bless the South!
——————————————–
D. I will be graduating with my Master's in less than 3 months. OH MY GOODNESS- that is weird.
——————————————–
E. I am more in shape than I have ever been- trying to be able to run some races next fall.
——————————————–
F. I'm slightly obsessed with the GoFugYourself blog
——————————————–
G. I'm told that if I'm nervous, I tend to repeat myself.
—————————————–
4. Tag seven random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.

Tag, you're it!
Valerie
Mark
Anna
Becca
The Seley's

And...thats all. I can't tag anyone else 'cause no one has blogs!

Music bleeds over

2008-03-07T08:30:00.005-07:00

Music has, and always will remain, a huge part of my life. I cannot imagine walking through my day without my iPod or a good song stuck in my head. Friends always joke, especially this week, that songs are continually rolling though my head and out my mouth. Maybe its a good thing, maybe it's a curse... I don't know....

But, this is one of those moments where music bleeds all over my personal life. I firmly believe that I have a soundtrack for my life. There are about 5 or 6 songs that permanently remain on shuffle for specific seasons in my life, and then there are some songs that transition in and out.

For this reason, I've created a separate blog to share some of the songs that touch my heart. Some of them are light hearted and fun, some are deep and reflective. All are important. I just love sharing music with others, and I especially love when music connects people in a very real way.

So, check it out! It is Lizlyrics.blogspot.com. I just posted about a Matthew West song that I've been living out over and over this week. Feel free to comment on some of the songs that are touching you and I'll definitely listen to them!

And, in the meantime.... enjoy the picture that will remain on my desktop for a VERY long time ::smiling incessantly!::...

No one else

2008-02-28T08:34:00.006-07:00

I react to songs in different ways. If I'm really jamming, I usually bob my head to the beat or sway to the right. If I'm rocking out, my hands usually form a "ROCK ON" symbol and I'm screaming. If I'm trying to listen, I generally close my eyes.

But if I'm really feeling the music, I close my eyes, put my hand over my heart, and sway.

Last night was one of those moments....

Shane & Shane, Starfield, and Bethany Dillon held a concert here. I've loved all of them as I've watched them mature into the artists they are today. Beth's music has always spoken to me the most. It is genuine and real, and it easily translates to many stages of my life and walk with God. She started with this song last night - just her and her guitar. Raw, acoustic, and heartfelt. I easily recognized it from Hillsong United, but she did an amazing job.

...My eyes were definitely closed, hand over my heart, swaying.

None but Jesus

In the quiet
In the stillness
I know, that you are God

In the secret
Of your presence
There I am restored

When you call I wont refuse
Each new day again I’ll choose

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring him praise

In the chaos
In confusion, I know
You’re soverign still

In the moment
Of my weakness
You give, me grace to do your will

So when you call I won’t delay
This my song, through all my days

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring him praise

All my delight is in you Lord
All of my hope, all of my strength
All my delight is in you Lord
Forevermore

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring him praise

Magical

2008-02-25T08:23:00.003-07:00

I think that yesterday was one of the most fun days I've had in a long time. Yes, it had to involve Disney's Magic Kingdom, but there is nothing like taking you 5 year-old nephew to DisneyWorld for the first time.

So the fam is in Disney. My nephew, C, isn't really a Disney fan, but we're here as a family vacation. I desperately needed vacation, I think the rest of my family did too. What is amazing about our family outings is that everything always seems to fall into place. We got in early for our character lunch reservation. The family received a day fast-pass that got is directly on rides. We bypassed most of the crowd to get a prime spot for the fireworks. Every time we decide to do vacation, things just seem to work out seamlessly.

It was all worth it to see C's face as we entered the Kingdom on Main Street. As we walked through the main gates, he sees this large show going on right in front of Cinderella's castle. He looks at me and says "Aunt Amy, I can't see." Well, what was I supposed to do? Deny him an amazing Disney experience? Heck no... I picked him up and lifted him as high as I could. The look on his face was priceless.. jaw dropped, eyes transfixed, huge smile. He saw Mickey. And Nana T got it all on video.

What is amazing to me about this place is that the Magic never dies. For C, it was seeing Mickey the first time. Plus, he was a trooper yesterday riding Big Thunder Mountain, his first major roller-coaster. He freaked out at the ghosts in Haunted Mansion, and loved Buzz Lightyear and how they made all the toys come to life. He stood on his chair and was ecstatic when Pooh and Tigger came over to see him during lunch. It was magical.

For me, it was Tinkerbell. I remember the first time I saw Tink and the fireworks. Dad and I jetted over really quick to ride some extra rides when I was 11. Grandma paid for the entire family to come and stay at Disney for a week, so Dad and I didn't get to ride most of the rides we wanted to. We sprinted in the main gates and booked it through Main Street until, all of a sudden, I stopped. Dad looked back and saw me staring at the castle, and then glanced back to see what I was looking at. At that moment, the castle glittered and Tinkerbell flew from the Castle to a point in tomorrow land. He said I had the same look on my face that C had on his face last night - in awe, wonder, amazement. All of a sudden, the magic was real. Tink could fly, and I could do anything.

Fast forward about 15 years, and we're back. Dad, me, a new group of people and experiences, waiting on fireworks again. Ry picked a good place to sit, and we all went to grab some dinner. Once the lights dimmed in the park, the castle lit up. As I'm looking through my camera, struggling to understand the "night snapshot" feature, I see something twinkle from the highest point at the castle. That twinkling became brighter as I dropped my camera and realized that Tinkerbell was flying overhead, right above us. I felt like I was 11 again. The magic never gets old. It took my breath away and put tears in my eyes.

As we're leaving, dad was asking C what he thought of the fireworks. C looks at him and says "Man, that Tinkerbell is one brave lady!" Priceless.

Off to see Animal Kingdom!

Breakable

2008-02-19T21:21:00.007-07:00

I'm not sure if you've heard her name before, but you've definitely heard her songs. In fact, if you watch any Old Navy commercials, you know "the Sweater Song" (even thought that isn't it's official title). I am addicted to Ingrid Michaelson because of a generous gift from one of my fave friends Sarah for Valentine's Day. What is amazing to me is how much music stills and quiets my heart more than anything else, especially on a day when it seems to turn my heart upside down.

But, enough about me.... let's talk about Ingrid.

She sang on Joshua Radin's latest release (who also has a great hit "Amy's Song"- wonder why I love that one). She's circled the talk show circuit, spending lots of time on Good Morning America and Jimmy Kimmel this week. One of her more popular songs "Keep Breathing" was a key feature on the end of Season 3 of Grey's Anatomy... (Yeah, you remember the part - Christina, after Burke left her, trying to tear her wedding dress off so that she could breathe. That was powerful!)

What I love about her is her genuine transparency. She has an ability to convey so much feeling and emotion in so little words. Her melodies flow back and forth, allowing you to enter in the music and let it wash over you. There is a keen truth and honesty in her lyrics and a strength in her voice that resonates. She talks about good and bad, strength and weakness. All in all, I haven't been able to get her album off of my iPod. And the awesome thing: She did it all by herself. No label, just Ingrid. Selling her love on iTunes.

So, here's the track that has been in my head this week. I think it speaks to a lot of people I know... myself included at times.

Breakable

Have you ever thought about what protects our hearts?
Just a cage of rib bones and other various parts.
So it's fairly simple to cut right through the mess,
And to stop the muscle that makes us confess.

And we are so fragile,
And our cracking bones make noise,
And we are just,
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.

You fasten my seatbelt because it is the law.
In your two ton death trap I finally saw.
A piece of love in your face that bathed me in regret.
Then you drove me to places I'll never forget.

And we are so fragile,
And our cracking bones make noise,
And we are just,
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.

And we are so fragile,
And our cracking bones make noise,
And we are just,
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls-
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls-
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.

Peace and Purpose

2008-02-15T17:22:00.003-07:00

Peace and purpose. For some reason, this is a very hot topic when you get around twenty-somethings. We all are figuring out where to move, what to do, what adventure is next, and who we are going to experience it with. It feels like this has been the week for talking about peace and purpose.

I was sitting with a friend this afternoon and the topic inevitably wandered to peace and purpose. A lot has changed in both of our lives over the past six months, and we were both trying to grapple with it on a drizzly Friday afternoon. For my friend, it was about if this place was truly the place for her. She is confused because of where she is in life, and if that is truly where she's supposed to be.

So, I asked the question. "When was the last time you encountered peace and clarity with life?"

Her answer: When she decided to go back to school.

And life seemed simple for that moment. In college, a wise friend of mine revealed many quirky, but true phrases. "God doesn't like to push a parked car" was one of them. Another was "If you're ever confused about where God is taking you, think back to the last time He made Himself perfectly clear." For B, it was the decision to get a Master's.

So I had to ask... when was mine?

Easy: The decision to move to Nashville last summer. I remember that decision like it was yesterday - I looked at my savings, wondered if I could swing it financially, closed my eyes and stepped out. Within a week, all of the details were worked out and I was living more cheaply there than I was here. God was faithful. I was extremely vulnerable and, sure, the move was full of risk. But, God is faithful.

it was a little reminder that I needed this afternoon. Obedience is rewarded. Clarity comes for those who seek Him. It is ok to be vulnerable with people and life situations. Life can get really confusing, and sometimes you just need some clarity.

Currently Listening: "White as Snow" by Jon Foreman, the Winter EP

Inspi(RED) with Seeing (RED)

2008-01-25T07:44:00.001-07:00

I promise.... I'm going to be better at this blogging thing. Mac has made it even easier for me to blog by creating a Blogspot widget. All I have to do is move my cursor to the bottom right of the screen, and voila! There is my blogger! Still... I'm not all that wonderful at updating these posts.

So, it's my last semester, and I'm seeing (RED), literally. It's a scary and wonderful time, full of insecurity and room for God to move. But, as I approach that, I keep hearing the same question: "So, A....what is your thesis about?" What am I supposed to say to that? I mean, people want to know, but they definitely don't want to know details. If you bust out with a "well, it's about blah blah blah...," then they discover either a good way to get out of convo, or a blank stare.

For all of those who really care, this is my thesis in a nutshell (enter Zoolander reference here):

Product (RED) is an interesting case study. As you know, the initiative includes all those red Apple iPods, Converse Shoes, Gap T-shirts, AmEx cards, Hallmark Cards, Motorola RED RAZRs, Armani sunglasses and watches, and now Dell Computers and Windows Vista software. Bobby Shriver and Bono approached the Global Fund and wanted to create an economic initiative to find relief for AIDS in Africa. So, this is a classic Cause-Related Marketing venture in a new form.

The Product (RED) initiative intrigues me because it is created to be more of a non-profit licensing business for the campaign (at least, thats how it seems to me right now). It provides social responsiblity actions on behalf of the corporate partners, which is beneficial for their business. Each corporate partner enters into their unique business agreement with different parameters, but each company is both making money and donating money at the same time.

So, what I want to do is look at the campaign from a public relations point of view. I want to interview the creators and partners to see their decision making process when initiating this effort. I want to look at their communications to see what messages are communicated. Most importantly, I want to see how they evaluate the success of the project. I make no judgements, and I'm not trying to blow the lid off of the campaign. I just want to know how it all was started and how it will continue.

So, thats it. And, since starting this venture, I now own a few RED shirts and continue to buy a few more products. In fact, all of my Valentine's Day cards will be from Product (RED). If they're raising money to help an area of the world that I love, then it has to be great. Hopefully someday this will get me one step closer to meeting Bono :)

Gravity

2008-01-21T09:09:00.002-07:00

Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long
No matter what I said I'd do
I still feel you here, 'til the moment I'm gone

You hold me without touch
Keep me without chains
I never wanted anything so much
Than to drown in your love and not feel your pain.

Set me free...
Leave me be..
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am, And I stand so tall
Just the way I'm supposed to be
But you're onto me, all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile
I thought that I was strong
But you touched me for a little while
And all my fragile strength is gone.

I live here on my knees as I
Try to make you see
That you're everything I think I need
Here on the ground
But you're neither friend nor foe
Though I can't seem to let you go
The one thing that I still know is that
You're keeping me down....

You're onto me, onto me, and all over..

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
~ Sara Bareillis

Sometimes songs just say it better than I can

Hurting when others hurt

2007-09-14T13:56:00.000-06:00

I haven't done a post in a while, and it feels like the world has spun so fast while I have walked in slow motion. I'm now back in the big BR, working diligently toward the thesis. What is interesting about that little light at the end of the tunnel is that it gets a bit brighter, dims, and then gets a tad brighter again. Sometimes it pulses, teasing me a bit as if I might actually be making progress. However, I keep hearing that it is all about the journey, so I'll keep hiking.

As I've been back in town, many have asked about my summer and the amazing people I met. They want to hear about celebrities, and I want to tell them about my favorite new friends. This rendition really doesn't satisfy them, but if they really want to hear my heart, those are the people who God used to make the most difference.

The one word that keeps coming back to me about my summer is healing. For some reason, I had a deep wound coming into the summer that I had tried to cover up really well. I thought it had healed a few years ago, but it crept back up like a bad dream. When I think of this summer incredibly amazed at how God met a need of mine that I didn't realize I so desparately desired.

And as I reflect on all of this, I see someone who caused me a great amount of hurt to now be in a great amount of pain. Never before did I realize how strongly in me God instilled empathy. Empathy is a funny thing, isn't it? Really, it's the ability to walk alongside someone and feel all that they feel- not because you are going through the pain, but because you care so much for the person and their outcome. Empathy is a funny thing.... or maybe it is grace. Grace that isn't of my own doing, but the Healer who renewed me.

Not Consumed

2007-06-16T14:03:00.000-06:00

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.
Lamentations 3:21-24

This verse is one I've been meditating a lot on lately. It has spoken truth at so many pivotal points in my life, and continues to do the same over and over and over. I'm amazed that God can take one verse and continually use it to glorify Himself.

I really have nothing else to say about it, but just to leave God's Word to speak it all. Speak into situations in my life and yours. The Lord is my portion...therefore I will wait for Him.

Nashvegas

2007-05-27T16:53:00.000-06:00

Greetings from the Music City!!!

I absolutely cannot believe I am here. You know how it is when you move and you are so focused on the "getting there"? I'm that kind of person. I get so focused on the "getting there" part that when I get there and take it in when things quiet down, it all hits. Well, people, it has hit and I am exstatic!! People kept asking me if I was excited, but I think that enthusiasm I had exponentially grew as I drove in the city.

Let me tell you how awesome God is.....

I have 2 amazing roommates, and we are three peas in a pod. I was a bit nervous going from living on my own for a while to moving in with two women, but the transition has been smooth. It is a perfect thing to live with two mature, Christian women. There is nothing more perfect than community you can share your life with, and I am so blessed with them.

These two wonderful women greeted me with open arms and literally ran to hug me when they first met me. It shocks me, really, but that is how love and community are supposed to be. I got to our sunday school today, and people were running up to me, wanting to ask me lots of questions and welcome. I don't think I have ever received such a warm reception.

Now, it's all about funneling this anxious/excited/nervous feeling and going to work on Tues. But, God is and has been faithful... He'll do it!

Thanks for listening, friends. I'll be posting pictures soon.

Trust

2007-05-12T10:42:00.000-06:00

You know how sometimes you learn this incredibly life altering lesson, only to look back a year later and repeat the same process? This is where I am living right now, but its such a good feeling. Let me explain...

In January, I applied to about 50 different internship programs. In March, I sent out my resume again to about 30 different places here in Baton Rouge and elsewhere. April came, and there were 6 interviews. No job. Even until this week, there have been some prospects, but nothing definite. That was, until last Tuesday. I got a call from EMI stating that they'd love to have me for an internship.

Up until this point, I was under the assumption that God had forgotten me - even though I know that is NOT part of His character. I would journal and re-read Psalm 40 of "How Long will You forsake me," all the while believing that it was either 1) my fault that I didn't have a job or 2) there was something better. God really renewed my strength in April as I realized that I had absolutely no control over this process and that there was something better waiting for me in time.

So again, the story of my life.... waiting. God's consistent theme in my life seems to be for me to learn how to wait patiently, and I obviously don't have it down yet. If I did, my logic says that I still wouldn't be repeating these lessons. This time around was different. During this waiting season, I learned a whole new aspect of trusting God. It was as if I actually listened to God the last time I was in this interim decision period. In April, my demeanor changed from "why" to "whatever gives you glory." And the beautiful part about it all is that, yet again, God proved himself faithful and beyond compare. On top of that, His answer was more than I ever asked or imagined.

Trust is a beautiful thing. It is leading me to places I never thought were possible. Just excited for what will happen!

Finding hope

2007-04-23T10:03:00.000-06:00

First of all, let me start by saying that blogging is a relatively new thing for me. I'd love to say I'm a seasoned pro, but it simply isn't the case. I'm an avid journaler, usually going through a journal every 6 months to a year. The beauty of journaling is that no one has the priviledge of reading what is written. Everything is secret, unknown, and personal. Blogging appears to be more of a balancing act. The line between being transparent and protective of my heart seems like it could easily be blurred. As I blog each Monday, please know that these thoughts are an attempt for me to be transparent and real. Also know that you are free to comment and inject your opinion, whether it agrees or not. The goal of this blog is to more clearly understand what freedom truly means.

That said, freedom has become a bit confused this week with the shootings at Virginia Tech. First, let me state how deeply sorry I am to all the victims, families, friends, community members for all that has transpired. I also pray for Cho's family as they pick up the pieces from something they never imagined would happen. Grieving is healthy and necessary, and a process that is probably the most personal part of this ordeal. Please know that while some of us are not directly in the situation, we grieve along with you.

People have asked where personal freedom ends and control begins, especially when it comes to personal safety. Some say the solution is more security, additional gun control laws, and increased mental health checks for those who might be a danger to others. Others resort to arguing for personal rights, however the former argument usually overpowers the latter.

In all of this, I think there are a few freedoms that have not been considered as of yet. Freedom to unite together and encourage each other in this time of grief. Freedom to stand firm on the ideals we believe and the Truth set before us. Most importantly, freedom to hope that there is something and someOne so much bigger than all of this and has all under control. In the midst of uncertainty, I cling to hope that good will come out of tragedy - just as it has in the past with crises big and small.

While this freedom to hope may not show itself immediately, it will as time passes. Hope is always victorious.

fleur-de-lis

2007-04-02T21:31:00.000-06:00

Fleur-de-lis ( according to Wikipedia):

"The fleur-de-lis (or fleur-de-lys; plural: fleurs-de-lis) is a stylized design of an iris flower which is used both decoratively and symbolically. In the Middle Ages the symbols of lily and fleur-de-lis (lis is French for "lily") overlapped considerably in religious art. Michel Pastoureau, the historian, says that until about 1300 they were found in depictions of Jesus, but gradually they took on Marian symbolism and were associated with the Song of Solomon's "lily among thorns" (lilium inter spinas), emphasizing important connotations of 'female virtue and spirituality' ."

Lately, I've been drawn to the fleur-de-lis symbol. Maybe it is a bit of Louisiana and French culture that is rubbing off onto me. It is seen everywhere down here, and has always appeared to be a powerful, unique creation. I never truly knew what it meant, but just that it looked pretty and that I have them all over my house. So, I decided to look it up - and I found out how truly powerful this symbol can be.

Over time, the fleur-de-lis has been used by so many people groups, but what caught my eye was the main reason was that it was found when Jesus was drawn in art. Now, I don't know how the symbol was shown- was it shiny? Dull? Just an outline? A solid figure? Not sure about any of that, but if it was there, it was there. And as I thought about that, especially to it's reference to Song of Solomon, I thought about how much I long to be that symbol. I crave to be a fleur-de-lis that represents God, not this culture. I desire to be that "lily among thorns" and not be wrapped up in the world. I struggle with that every day here- moreso than I've done in the past.

In showing off this great symbol all around the streets of BR and NOLA to friends the last few weekends, I've been refreshed and encouraged as to how to be that "lily among thorns" again. I think their presence again made me realize just how far God has brought me, and how much He has yet to call me to. As well as how much responsibility I have to represent Jesus to these people, to be that shiny fleur-de-lis, because of God's great name.

Time is ticking...

2006-03-07T11:23:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't know me, I have an addictive personality. I've been getting better at finding a middle ground, but it's usually all or nothing. I'm hoping that this blog won't be an all or nothing sort of deal, as I hope I can continue and update as I see fit. Xanga became a monstrosity to keep up with, and facebook is WAY too addictive. But, hopefully I won't get too sucked in to blogspot.com.

There is so much going on right now. We are in the heat of Relay season, and we are all feeling the pressure and aftereffects of the hurricanes. Sponsorships are dwindling, teams aren't recommitting, and I have a large meeting on Friday to assess where we stand. Is it bad that I've already had dreams where I walk out of that meeting with a bald head as if I'm going through chemo? Is it bad that I've been taking work home so much with me lately that it is at a whole new level?

In the meantime, I am not ignoring all of my friends, but I do want you to know that I wish I could be in more constant contact than my schedule allows. Please feel free to call!